For the past 30 mins a rogue fly has been doing low passes and major trash talking over Thumb’s head. Hes been keeping a tough face, mewing, “Try that again, ill bitch slap you into next week!”
But the fly simply keeps on buzzing, just out of reach, “Buzz. Just try to touch me! I dare you! BuzzBuzzBuzz..”
We are built of the same stuff Super Heroes are built of. We want to heal the world. We have hearts that care. And though maybe not every battle is meant to be won, we do whatever it is we can. We take stock in the fact that we cared. That for a fraction of a lifetime, if only for that fraction of a lifetime, we gave people moments of compassion. And maybe they have never known one to care for and fight for their future. It is what makes us mighty. We are not given the tools to cure the ails we face every day, but we work with the moments we are given. We invest in their future and show them that they are not alone. They always say to leave work at work, but no one ever says anything about when work leaves you. When that door closes we do not simply shut off. We keep every life we touch, maybe not up front and present, but in the back on a shelf, full of cases, of lives. It is what gives us the strength to keep caring. What drives us to heal the world. What makes us the Super Heroes we are.. And that is something that I truly believe..
When youre sitting outside with a friend, talking about serious stuff. And lean back in your seat just as a guy is walking by, and your metal outdoor chair with the janky armrest decides to let out the most god awful screech, making said guy jump in fear and turn around…
Hashtag: Not Exactly How I Want to be a Head Turner..😳
I often toot the horn of my prescription sleep aide, and in truth it has helped immensely. I have a journal I kept of my sleep pattern for 2 years. Filled with what time I went to bed, what time and how many times I woke up, and what I ate or drank prior to sleeping. In short, for two years, I got pretty shitty sleep.
For years now I have had no problems sleeping thru the night, 8 hrs or more. But lately my sleep has been troubled. Either I can’t seem to get to sleep at all, or my sleep is plagued by intense dreams. Movie quality. Completely immersing. And completely random. And it would seem a good thing, like I’m atleast getting sleep. But I wake up so endrenched with the dream. I’ve woken up sobbing. I’ve woken up terrified. I’ve woken up completely believing I’ve done things I haven’t. My dreams are so emotionally exhausting, I wake feeling like I haven’t slept at all. I’ve also woken up with sore muscles from being so tense in my sleep.
Point is: I woke up this morning, and for a moment couldn’t move because somehow I’d pulled a muscle down the middle of my back! And it hurts like a bitch…
Maybe I’m just burned out. Can’t take time off for fear I’ll need my PTO soon. Or maybe it’s something else. But for the first time in 2.5 years, I’m not happy. I’m not excited to go to work and I can’t seem to give it my all. The last six months have been extremely nerve racking, but worst of all, degrading. I have never felt so belittled and insulted, by the entire process I’ve been dealing with. Especially for something I happily gave my all to. I wanted to see people get better and work towards their future. But they all just keep coming back, faster and faster. My heart has been so sick, wondering, what I’m even here for…
Ma Vie en Rose 