The Life and Times of Rose

Morning Routine:

Me: (Leaning over small sink applying eyeliner.)
Cat 1: I need water. Now. (Jumps on to tiny counter)
Cat 2: I need to nuzzle your arm! (Jumps onto even tinier counter space)
Me: No! (Shoos both cats off and resumes eyelinering.)
Cat 1: There is no water here! (Jumps back up and begins swinging paw under faucet to prove point.)
Cat 2: Arm! (Jumps back up and headbutts elbow causing eyeliner to go up into my eyebrow.)
Me: I said No! (Shoos both cats away and shuts door on them.)
Cats 1 and 2: Pay attention to us! (Cat hand reaching under door…)

The Life and Times of Rose

A Ballad… or Trajedy… Dramedy?… Musical?…

…Standing in the shower for an hour… blow drying my laundry cuz the crap dryer in my complex can’t seem to finish the job, and I didn’t have enough quarters to run another cycle. Perhaps any other day, I might have just let it all hang dry, but said laundry happens to be my sheets, and it’s already full dark out and I’m kind of tired.
…All the while friends and loved ones merrily book/plan their exciting trips for the holiday season.
…At least she will sleep in dry sheets tonight…

Well, it finally happened. My ancient fitbit finally passed…
Farewell perfect figure, for why should I ever leave this chair. Farewell sunlight and birdsong, for why will I ever need go outside. Farewell wind in my hair, from power walking to keep up with others…
It’s been nice using you feet and legs, but without a fitbit, what purpose is there in walking anymore??
Rip Fitbit, may you finally find peace and motionlessness..

Tortie Day at the Beach

(Or rather the marshland before the beach..)
I may not be an English guy walking my tortoise to the pub. Or an old Japanese man strolling thru town with my skirt wearing tortoise. But hes like my cool party trick. Passersby are a mix of shocked, flabberghasted, and intrigued. Would’ju look at that, a turtle on the beach!
And I smile, and tell them how old he is, let them poke and pet his shell, let their dogs sniff then bark at him, let them ooh and aah. And there is one consistency. One thing that never fails. Everyone, EVERYONE has a turtle story. And they always share theirs with Shredder and I.
Hashtag: Bringing the World Back Together, one Turtle Story at a Time. 🐢

Omgawd… it really MUST be the scariest night of the year, it’s 8pm and I’m in bed hiding… from all the children… candy crazed children, running wild in the night… *shivers*

…jk. No child would be brazen enough to mount my darkened steps. The last time a child knocked on my door, I answered it with a knife in my hand.
…actually, I heard the monsters coming and whipped the door open right before they knocked. With a knife in my hand. They actually ran screaming. 😁

Hashtag: Anyone Need a Babysitter?

Gawd. When you finish the last page of a wonderous book, and it just lingers on your tongue like the last bite of ambrosia. And you sit, holding time tightly like you can stop it from moving foward. Hold this moment, this feeling, for even were you to read and reread and reread, no other time will ever be your first again. No other moment will ever be this very moment, this new and haunting taste left in your mouth. This is what reading is. This is what magic is…

…when the night begins to win over the day. when the air begins to grasp at your skin. when the trees start to turn, growing gold, then crimson, as if infected. then drop their leaves as if seeking to blanket the Earth, keep her warm, keep her safe. safe from the ghosts that slowly drift in the dew light, from the shadows that yawn and stretch in the twilight…