The Wedding – Day 5 (a day late)

The Big Day

How do you prepare for a day like this? This day you always knew would come, but never really expected it. The way one knows they will grow up and be an adult, but never notice it happening. The way you know the Earth is moving, but you never seem to feel it.

When you are young, if you are lucky you are wrapped up into a little nuclear family with ribbon and bows. A picture of my brother and I having drawn all over a large chalkboard to make our mother feel better. My brother’s side filled with random doodles and words. My side, an exact copy of his side (only much sloppier). He was my absolute hero. He still is. And I would have followed him anywhere.

And in that wrapped up nuclear family, I felt safe. I needed to feel safe. In my heart I have been lost. Only half of it beats because the other is still with my birth mother. And the idea of losing any of my family terrifies me. I can’t lose anymore of my already damaged heart. And it clings so desperately to my family.

I think I wanted to deny that this day was coming. It wasn’t someday sometime. It was now. But if I didn’t think about it, I wasn’t losing my brother.

But as the sun moved across the sky, and my brother watched his bride to be, I realized that I didn’t know this person existed. We have struggled, and fought, and beat every challenge that had come to us. My brother loves me. But I had never seen him love like this. I had never seen such adoration and happiness in his eyes. He loved to be in band, and he loved nerdy math and computer stuff, and he loved cooking, but I had never seen this love.

And as things moved forwards, as we sat in the seats, and the bride’s father walked her to my brother, and he took her hand and led her to the ceremony table, I realized this was real. This was happening.

And the truth is, my heart broke. And when I asked my mom if she was okay, and she said she was. I took a beat, and then told her that I wasn’t. And I cried. Because my brother, my hero, was now so extraordinarily happy. And, a little bit, it was like the Earth moved under my feet. And, a little bit, it was like we were suddenly adults.

The Life and Times of Rose


The Suspicious Package…

I’ve never been one to get super creeped out by the idea of my phone really watching and listening to me. But I’ve begun feeling a little creeped out that it is actually reading my mind…


Saw my doc on Tuesday and had him put in some refills on scrips for me. Usually they arrive to me in a day or two. No worries. Except I was quickly running out of meds and leaving town at the end of the week. Crisis mode when on Saturday night, I still hadn’t gotten my meds and was leaving the next day (today). I knew they were coming as my bank acct had been charged for them. I begged my friend to diligently check the mail while I was gone and then express mail them to me. Sunday comes and I hopefully check the mail one last time before leaving town.

Nothing.

I drove out of town wondering if I’d survive if I went down to half tabs for a while…


I arrived at my parents place, unloaded, fed the kids, put my jammies on, looked over at a suspicious, lumpy package…


😱WTFfffffffff?!?!??!


A: How did my pharmacy know I was going to be out of town?!

B: How does my pharmacy know my parents address?!

I honestly can’t remember it without looking it up. I don’t think I even have their address listed as an emergency contact… address. And I did not recite my own or any address to my doc while he was refilling the scrips, as he has refilled many, and I should be on file. At my house…

😱

I’m ooked out. I don’t even know if I want to take these meds!

New addition

That awkward moment when you return home with a new bundle of joy in hand. Big brother Thumbs thought it weird how affectionate you’d been being all morning. Saying words at him in that cooing voice that annoys everyone.

He immediately smells something off when you set the bundle down in the cardboard box containing his old bed and a couple of his long forgotten toys. He spies something perk up from inside the box and his curiosity is peaked. Everyone stops and holds their breath as he cautiously approaches. The smell grows stronger and in a moment, two eyes blink back at him. He rears back with a growl as she opens her mouth to mew at him, but yawns instead.

He jumps away, heads straight for the door demanding his exit, meowing loudly about how unfair this is and how you’re always trying to ruin his life! You tell him you’ll always love him as you watch him stalk off. He’ll be back, and he’ll grow to love his little sister as much as you already do in time..